The Story Begins

As you know, Libby’s T-cell mandibular lymphoma first diagnosed and treated since last November 2017 is being stubborn. Her Pet scan was clear after chemo in February but immediately after 17 rounds of radiation has unfortunately returned. She has started a new treatment that is working to eradicate the disease. This website has been created to not only share her updates but also to be a support for others going through cancer battles and for all of those that want to share in her life journey. Based on her resilient parents Betty and Bill, the mantra of her brother Bill, who died of ALS at 43, and her cancer surviving sister’s Sheri and Lisa, the Sims Family philosophy is to “never give up,” always have hope and laugh a lot! Faith, Hope, and Love to all of you! In this life adventure, in the face of adversity, you must always try to see the bright side! We invite you to follow here and post your story but please do not post this website on social media. Thank you…

Caroline

 

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93 thoughts on “The Story Begins

  1. The Second Music

    Now I understand that there are two melodies playing,
    one below the other, one easier to hear, the other
    lower, steady, perhaps more faithful for being less heard yet
    always present.
    When all other things seem lively and real,
    this one fades. Yet the notes of it
    touch as gently as fingertips as the sound
    of the names laid over each child at birth.
    I want to stay in that music without striving or cover.
    If the truth of our lives is what it is playing,
    the telling is so soft
    that this mortal time, this irrevocable change,
    becomes beautiful. I stop and stop again
    to hear the second music.
    I hear the children in the yard, a train, then birds.
    All this is in it and will be gone. I set my ear to it as I would
    to a heart.

    Annie Lightheart, from Iron String

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.
    I do not see the road ahead of me.
    I cannot know for certain where it will end.
    Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am
    following your will does not mean that I am actually doing
    so.
    But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please
    you.
    And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
    I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
    And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road
    though I may know nothing about it.
    Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost
    and in the shadow of death.
    I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never
    leave me to face my perils alone.

    Thomas Merton, from Thoughts in Solitude

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  3. Here’s another poem that reminds me of you:

    Sonnets to Orpheus, Part Two, XII

    Want the change. Be inspired by the flame
    Where everything shines as it disappears.
    The artist, when sketching, loves nothing so much
    as the curve of the body as it turns away.

    What locks itself in sameness has congealed.
    Is it safer to be gray and numb?
    What turns hard becomes rigid
    and is easily shattered.

    Pour yourself like a fountain.
    Flow into the knowledge that what you are seeking
    finishes often at the start, and, with ending, begins.

    Every happiness is the child of a separation
    it did not think it could survive. And Daphne,
    becoming a laurel,
    dares you to become the wind.

    Rainer Maria Rilke, translated by Anita Barrows and Joanna Macy

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  4. Above All, Trust in the Slow Work of God

    Above all, trust in the slow work of God.
    We are quite naturally impatient in everything to
    reach the end without delay. We should like to skip
    the intermediate stages.

    We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown,
    something new. Yet it is the law of all progress that is made
    by passing through some stages of instability and that
    may take a very long time.

    And so I think it is with you. Your ideas mature gradually.
    Let them grow. Let them shape themselves without undue
    haste. Do not force them on as though you could be
    today what time – that is to say, grace – and circumstances
    acting on your own good, will make you tomorrow.
    Only God could say what this new spirit gradually forming
    in you will be.

    Give our Lord the benefit of believing that his hand is
    leading you, and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself
    in suspense and incomplete.

    Above all, trust in the slow work of God,
    our loving vine-dresser.
    Amen.

    Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

    Thinking of you and hoping you’re able to be outside on this beautiful Sunday. Love, love, love.

    Like

  5. Ducks at Peace

    I’d like to take my family to the lake,
    Father said, so they can see how well
    the animal and fish kingdoms get along
    You hardly ever see ducks fighting.
    If they do, it’s done in private.
    We should follow their example,
    and not air out our dirty laundry in public.
    That is what I told your mother
    at the restaurant, that she should
    save her complaints for when we
    get home. She said she had already
    complained there. She was hoping
    she’d get better results if she changed locations.

    Hal Sirowitz, from Father Said

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  6. She and My Grandad

    My grandfather – who died in 1970 –
    The year Sexual Politics was published –

    called objects – screwdrivers, blow torches, trucks
    and sometimes even abstractions – winter,

    pain, time – by the singular
    feminine pronoun – she or her. For instance, he would say,

    I reckon she’s coming up on quitting time,
    Or (of a favorite hammer), I guess

    She ain’t nowhere to be found. Kate Millett
    asked about the future of the woman’s movement,

    said, How in the hell do I know? I don’t run it,
    to which Granddad – at war with Gradmama all

    my life but drawn to women, always polite –
    would have said, Yes Ma’am, can’t nobody run her.

    David Huddle, from She and My Granddad

    I think this is a hoot. Sounds just like my dad who was a farmer from boyhood until death. He talked just like this poem.

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  7. Here’s a poem written by Marie Howe, a Catholic poet, who lost her brother to AIDS some years ago. Her loss inspired a number of published poetry works. This one rings pretty true for me. A lot of her work deals with the loss of her brother and also her spiritual journey during that experience and since. If you’re interested in reading some of her work, send me a note and I’ll round up a few volumes. Love you. Have another good day….

    Prayer

    Every day I speak with you. And every day something more
    important calls for my attention –
    the drugstore, the beauty products, the luggage

    I need to buy for the trip.
    Even now I can hardly sit here

    among the falling piles of paper and clothing, the garbage
    trucks outside already screeching and banging.

    The mystics say you are as close as my own breath.
    Why do I flee from you?

    My days and nights pour through me like complaints
    and become a story I forgot to tell.

    Help me. Even as I write these words I am planning
    to rise from the chair as soon as I finish this sentence.

    Marie Howe, from The Kingdom of Ordinary Time

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  8. What the Heart Cannot Forget

    Everything remembers something. The rock, its fiery bed,
    cooling and fissuring into cracked pieces, the rub
    of watery fingers along its edge.

    The cloud remembers being elephant, camel, giraffe,
    remembers being a veil over the face of the sun,
    gathering itself together for the fall.

    The turtle remembers the sea, sliding over and under
    its belly, remembers legs like wings, escaping down
    the sand under the beaks of savage birds.

    The tree remembers the story of each ring, the years
    of drought, the floods, the way things came
    walking slowly toward it long ago.

    And the skin remembers its scars, and the bone aches
    where it was broken. The feet remember the dance,
    and the arms remember lifting up the child.

    The heart remembers everything it loved and gave away,
    everything it lost and found again, and everyone
    it loved, the heart cannot forget.

    Joyce Sutphen, from What the Heart Cannot Forget

    I hope you’ve had a good day, dear Libby.

    Like

  9. Hi Libby,
    I hope your belly is calm today and your energy is just enough for you to enjoy the sunshine then take a nap. Loved your video of the rainbow.

    Evolution

    Was it dissatisfaction or hope
    that beckoned some of the monkeys
    down from the trees and onto the damp
    forbidden musk of the forest floor?

    Which one tested his thumbs
    against the twig
    and awkwardly dug a grub
    from the soil?

    What did the tribe above think
    as it leaned on the slender branches
    watching the others
    frustrated, embarrassed,
    but pinching grubs
    with leathery fingers
    into their mouths?

    The moral is movement
    is awkward. The lesson is fumble.

    Eliza Griswold, from Wideawake Field

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  10. New York Notes

    1. Caught on a side street in heavy traffic, I said to the
    cabbie, I should have walked. He replied, I should have
    been a doctor.

    2. When can I get on the 11:33, I ask the guy in the
    information booth at the Atlantic Avenue Station.
    When they open the doors, he says.

    I am home among my people.

    Harvey Shapiro, from How Charlie Shavers Died and Other Poems

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  11. Good morning Libby,

    I’m so glad to hear you’re back in your own home. Hope that will give every good thing within you a healthy boost!

    Beloved Lord, Almighty God!
    Through the rays of the sun,
    Through the wave of the air,
    Through the All-pervading Life in space,
    Purify and revivify me, and I pray,
    Heal my body, heart, and soul.
    Amen

    Hazrat Inayat Khan

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  12. A poem from Rumi

    This being human is a guest house.
    Every morning is a new arrival.

    A joy, a depression, a meanness,
    some momentary awareness comes
    as an unexpected visitor.

    Welcome and entertain them all!
    Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows
    who violently sweep your house
    empty of its furniture,
    still, treat each guest honorably.
    He may be clearing you out
    for some new delight.

    The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
    meet them at the door laughing,
    and invite them in.

    Be grateful for whoever comes,
    because each has been sent
    as a guide from beyond.

    Rumi

    Like

      1. Hi Carolyn
        Glad you like the poems. I hope they give Libby a little boost each day. I ran into her at the drug store yesterday and it was such a surprise for both of us! Thank you for all you’re doing to grow this girl back to health.
        Ann Starr

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  13. Remember all those colors you put on the walls at The Bridge? So much fun; and the prettiest old school house anybody could have ever imagined. This poem sounds almost like Dr. Seuss.

    Honey, pepper, leaf-green limes
    Pagan fruits whose names are rhymes,
    Mangoes, breadfruit, ginger-roots,
    Granadillas, bamboo-shoots,
    Cho-cho, ackees, tangerines,
    Lemons, purple Congo-beans,
    Sugar, okras, kola-nuts,
    Citrons, hairy coconuts,
    Fish, tobacco, native hats,
    Gold bananas, woven mats,
    Plantains, wild-thyme, pallid leeks,
    Pigeons with their scarlet beaks,
    Oranges and saffron yams,
    Baskets, ruby guava jams,
    Turtles, goat-skins, cinnamon,
    All-spice, conch-shells, golden rum.
    Black skins, babel – and the sun
    That burns all colors into one.

    Agnes Maxwell-Hall

    And then there’s Gerard Manley Hopkins, who must surely have inspired Dr. Seuss:

    Glory be to God for dappled things –
    For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow;
    For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim;
    Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finchs’ wings
    Landscape plotted and pieced -fold, fallow,and plough;
    And all trades, their gear and tackle and trim.

    All things counter, original, spare, strange;
    Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)
    WIth swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;
    He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change:
    Praise him.

    Gerard Manley Hopkins

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  14. Hey Lib. I hope you’ve had a reprieve from the urps and therefore gained 10 pounds.

    God our Mother,
    Living Water,
    River of Mercy,
    Source of Life,
    in whom we live
    and move
    and have our being,
    who quenches our thirst,
    refreshes our weariness,
    bathes
    and washes
    and cleanses
    our wounds,
    be for us always
    a fountain of life,
    and for all the world
    a river of hope
    springing up in the midst
    of the deserts of despair.
    Honor and blessing,
    glory and praise
    to You forever.

    Amen.

    Medical Mission Sisters

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  15. You will go out in joy
    and be led forth in peace;
    the mountains and hills before you
    will burst into song,
    and all the trees of the field
    will clap their hands.
    Instead of the thorn
    will grow the cypress,
    and instead of briars
    will come up the myrtle.
    This will be for the glory of the Lord,
    for an everlasting sign
    which will not be destroyed.

    Isaiah 55:12-13

    Blessings on you and all those you love dear Libby. Ann

    Like

  16. In The Alley

    In the alley behind the florist’s shop
    a huge white garbage truck was parked and idling.
    In a cloud of exhaust, two men in coveralls
    and stocking caps, their noses dripping,
    were picking through the florist’s dumpster
    and each had selected a fistful of roses.

    As I walked past, they gave me a furtive,
    conspiratorial nod, perhaps sensing
    that I, too (though in my business suit and tie)
    am a devotee of garbage – an aficionado
    of the wilted, the shopworn, and the free –
    and that I had for days been searching
    beneath the heaps of worn-out, faded words
    to find this brief bouquet for you.

    Ted Kooser, from Valentines

    Everything is blooming, hay fever is full blown, there are more sunny days than gray, and I wish I could sneak into my neighbor’s yard and clip some azalea blossoms for you. Love

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  17. To Be a Danger

    Just once I’d like to be a danger
    To something in this world,
    Be hunted by the cops
    And forced into hiding in the mountains,
    Since if they left me on the streets
    I’d turn the country around,
    Changing everyone’s mind with a word.

    But I’ve lived so long a quiet life,
    In a world I’ve made small,
    That even my own mind changes slowly.
    I’m a danger only to myself,
    Like the daydreaming night watchman
    Smoking his cigar
    Near the dynamite shed.

    C. G. Hanzlicek, from The Cave

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  18. Put this in your pocket and carry it with you all day:

    Yellow

    There is the heaven we enter
    through institutional grace
    and there are the yellow finches bathing and singing
    in the lowly puddle.

    Mary Oliver

    love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love

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  19. Libby, I’m encouraged by your reports. I’m guessing you would like for this to move faster, however, forward progress is good for your public to hear about!

    In The Storm

    Some black ducks
    were shrugged up
    on the shore.
    It was snowing

    hard, from the east,
    and the sea
    was in disorder.
    Then some sanderlings,

    five inches long
    with beaks like wire,
    blew in,
    snowflakes on their backs,

    and settled
    in a row
    behind the ducks – whose backs were also

    covered with snow –
    so close
    they were all but touching,
    they were all but under

    the roof of the ducks’ tails,
    so the wind, pretty much,
    blew over them.
    They stayed that way, motionless,

    for maybe an hour,
    then the sanderlings,
    each a handful of feathers,
    shifted, and were blown away

    out over the water
    which was still raging.
    But, somehow,
    they came back

    and again the ducks,
    like a feathered hedge,
    let them crouch there, and live.

    If someone you didn’t know
    told you this,
    as I am telling you this,
    would you believe it?

    Belief isn’t always easy.
    But this much I have learned –
    if not enough else –
    to live with my eyes open.

    I know what everyone wants
    is a miracle.
    This isn’t a miracle.
    Unless, of course, kindness –

    As now and again some rare person has suggested –
    is a miracle.
    As surely it is.

    Mary Oliver

    Like

  20. Wild Geese

    You do not have to be good.
    You do not have to walk on your knees
    for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
    You only have to let the soft animal of your body
    love what it loves.
    Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
    Meanwhile the world goes on.
    Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of rain
    are moving across landscapes
    over the prairies and the deep trees,
    the mountains and the rivers.
    Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
    are heading home again.
    Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
    the world offers itself to your imagination,
    calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
    over and over announcing your place
    in the family of things.

    Mary Oliver

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  21. April

    A whole new freshman class
    of leaves has arrived

    on the dark twisted branches
    we call our woods, turning

    green now – color of
    anticipation. In my 76th year,

    I know what time and weather
    will do to every leaf.

    But the camellia swells
    to ivory at the window,

    and the bleeding heart bleeds
    only beauty.

    Linda Pastan, from Traveling Light

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  22. Libby My Dear,
    There is absolutely nothing redeeming about stomach issues. You’re a trooper to keep up your regular routine. I don’t know how you do it. God must have given you an extra dose of “Don’t tell me I can’t do it!” I do hope the prednisone makes you feel better. Living in the mystery of all you’ve experienced is enough to give anybody a belly ache.

    I can’t resist sending you any poem that has a red bird in it…

    A Thousand Mornings

    All night my heart makes its way
    however it can over the rough ground
    of uncertainties, but only until night
    meets and then is overwhelmed by
    morning, the light deepening,
    the wind easing and just waiting, as I
    too wait (and when have I ever been
    disappointed?) for redbird to sing.

    Mary Oliver

    Love from me to you and constant hopes for endurance and patience.

    Like

  23. No bird in this one – a horse –

    Who the Meek Are Not

    Not the bristle-bearded Igors bent
    under burlap sacks, not peasants knee-deep
    in the rice paddy muck,
    not the serfs whose quarter-moon sickles
    make the wheat fall in waves
    they don’t get to eat. My friend the Franciscan
    nun says we misread
    that word meek in the Bible verse that blesses them.
    To understand the meek
    (she says) picture a great stallion at full gallop
    in a meadow, who –
    at his master’s voice – seizes up to a stunned
    but instant halt.
    So with the strain of holding that great power
    in check, the muscles
    along the arched neck keep eddying,
    and only the velvet ears
    prick forward, awaiting the next order.

    Mary Karr, from Sinners Welcome

    I’m still thinking of you every day and hoping some of your ups and downs are beginning to level out. You are a dear one, Love you, Ann

    Like

  24. Hello Libby Libby,

    A poem:

    A Glimpse of the Eternal

    Just now,
    a sparrow lighted
    on a pine bough
    right outside my window
    and a puff
    of yellow pollen
    flew away.

    Ted Kooser, from Delights and Shadows

    Blessings and love, Ann

    Like

  25. Saint Francis and the Sow

    The bud
    stands for all things,
    even for those things that don’t flower,
    for everything flowers, from within of self-blessing;
    though sometimes it is necessary
    to reteach a thing its loveliness,
    to put a hand on its brow
    of the flower
    and retell it in words and in touch
    it is lovely
    until it flowers again from within, of self-blessing;
    as Saint Francis
    put his hand on the creased forehead
    of the sow, and told her in words and in touch
    blessings of earth on the sow, and the sow
    began remembering all down her thick length,
    from the earthen snout all the way
    through the fodder and slops to the spiritual curl of the tail,
    from the hard spininess spiked out from the spine
    down through the great broken heart
    to the sheer blue milken dreaminess spurting and shuddering
    from the fourteen teats into the fourteen mouths sucking and blowing beneath them:
    the long, perfect loveliness of sow.

    Galway Kinnell, from Three Books

    Happy Mother’s Day Lib. I hope you’re feeling weller all the time. Love you, Starr

    Like

  26. Take Something Like a Star

    O Star (the fairest one in sight),
    We grant your loftiness the right
    To some obscurity of cloud-
    It will not do to say of night,
    Since dark is what brings out your light.
    Some mystery becomes the proud.
    But to be wholly taciturn
    In your reserve is not allowed.
    Say something to us we can learn
    By heart and when alone repeat.
    Say something! And it says, “I burn.”
    But say with what degree of heat.
    Talk Fahrenheit, talk Centigrade.
    Use language we can comprehend.
    Tell us what elements you blend.
    It gives us strangely little aid,
    But does tell something in the end.
    And steadfast as Keats’ Eremite,
    Not even stooping from its sphere,
    It asks a little of us here.
    It asks of us a certain height,
    So when at times the mob is swayed
    To carry praise or blame too far,
    We may take something like a star
    To stay our minds on and be staid.

    Robert Frost

    Like

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